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Celebrate YOU!



I want to start this post with two questions.

  1. How many times in a day do you find yourself praising other people's achievements and/or appearance?

  2. How many times in a day do you find yourself praising your own achievements and/or appearance?

Chances are, for question number 1, your answer would be multiple times. And as for question number 2, your answer would be slim to none. Don't worry, those were my answers too and this is completely normal. It is always easier to see other people's accomplishments and compliment them than to give yourself a pat on the back. Hence, the expression "The grass is always greener on the other side" is well known.

I have been researching a lot about self love these past few months. Mostly because it is something that I'm trying to practice for myself and also because I am obsessed with anything that is related to women empowerment and I feel like self love could potentially be one of the ways to do that. In many of my research, I always stumble on websites that promote self love coaching. What's interesting about that is that it triggers the wheels in my brain to start working and asking questions like "Do people really need coaching on how to love themselves?". Evidently, the answer is yes, because this self love coaching business is currently a multi billion dollar business in 2020 ( I am soooo in the wrong field of work. Ha.). But the revelation doesn't stop there. The fact that I was also doing a research on the topic means that I ALSO need some sort of coaching on self love! BOOM!! New personal revelation achieved.

Growing up, probably like most people in the world, I was never taught about self love. Heck, I wasn't even taught about love in general. All I know was that when you love somebody, be it romantically or platonic, you do whatever you can to make them happy. While this is somewhat makes sense, I did get lost in translation. I took it way too literal to the point where I compromised myself a lot. And I mean, A LOT! That's a story for another day.

I always like to use this illustration whenever I talk about self love to my friends. You know when you board an airplane and the cabin attendance starts talking through the intercom telling you where the emergency exits are and then they start doing this funny hand gestures to show where they are and blowing into little tubes on life jackets? There's always that part about the oxygen masks that will automatically drop down in front of the passengers when the cabin pressurization is lost. There's this important bit that the cabin attendance would always say, and that is to put it on yourself first, make sure it's secured and then help others or children that are travelling with you.

In a way, self love works like that. You will never be able to truly love others, if you don't love yourself first.

Funny thing about self love is that it is actually harder than I thought it would be (these self love coaches are really on to something!). Changing my mindset of negative self talk to positive self talk required a lot of work. Self love isn't about indulging yourself with chocolate or maxing out your credit cards. Self love is about accepting you for who YOU are, flaws and all. And this is the hard part, because self love is not about turning yourself into the most perfect being, but it is about embracing all your imperfections as is, making peace with yourself that they are a part of you and, if possible, working through them in attempt to be a better you all the while still showing compassion and no judgment towards yourself. Owning your flaws and loving yourself through the process is the bravest thing that you'll ever do.

Practicing self love has been a roller coaster ride for me. On good days, I could walk on cloud nine. On bad days, I wouldn't be able to see my self worth or I would have a hard time receiving compliments from others because I don't feel like I'm worth it. It is definitely a never ending work in progress. But here's what I realized from this work in progress. It's easier for me now to give praise to myself for the little achievements I did on a daily basis. I am able to look at myself in the mirror and instead of focusing on my flaws, I focus on the things that make me, ME. No, this is not about feeding my ego, this is about giving myself credit when credit is due and you should too. Seriously, life is too short for you to focus on the things you hate about yourself. Unless you're doing something about it, then by all means, focus on that.

Oh, here's a bonus. Despite what it sounds like, practicing self love is far from being selfish. If anything, it can totally help improve the way you interact with others. Treating them with compassion just as you treat yourself with compassion as well. And let's be honest, who doesn't like people who are genuinely pleasant and able to show compassion?! Here's another extra bonus, I find practicing self love liberating and eye opening. I was able to release some negative blocks in my life that I have been carrying for a long time and has been limiting me from expressing myself. And that's what I call a win!

Look, at the end of the day, the only person who knows how to love you the best is yourself. No one else can. And the way I do that is by celebrating me for who I really am. You should celebrate you too!





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