Toxic Positivity

If there's a quote and/or an expression that I'm really not so into, it's probably... Wait, scratch that... It's definitely "Positive vibes only". To me, this expression sounds so dismissive, irresponsible, and just straight up toxic. Unless you're a robot who is specifically programmed to only be positive and pull out a happy face all the livelong day, there is not a single human being in this world who can be positive all the time. Look, the harsh truth is and I'm sure you know this by now, the world is not unicorns and rainbows all the time. It's actually shit and fuckaroo at every corner with a splash of unicorns and rainbows every once in a while. And this has got nothing to do with being bitter about life. It's just the cold hard truth. Think about it this way, imagine yourself being at a party where you get to wear a nice fancy dress that wraps around your body perfectly, hair all tied up in a pretty ponytail and a pair of glamorous looking heels that are to die for. First few hours, you may be able to smile genuinely, enjoying the many attention and compliments that come your way. But how long is that going to last? Soon, you will start to feel that the dress you're wearing is slightly too tight. That ponytail is starting to give you a headache from being tied too tight and that heels are actually hurting you every time you walk. Will you still be able to smile genuinely? And if you can, do you even want to smile? Often times we brush off any signs of negative feelings and/or emotions. Lord knows how many times I have done this in the past as well. Feeling negative is like having your personal dark cloud hanging above your head, complete with thunder and lightning, ready to burst into rain, following you around all day. And while this negative feeling and/or emotion is far from being pleasant, it actually helps you a lot in your self-growth. I used to avoid feeling negative. It was like there's this specific area in my heart and brain that is wrapped with police yellow line complete with a "DO NOT ENTER" sign smack-dabbed in the middle. I was so afraid of showing, let alone talking about negative feelings/emotions. For me, it's a sign of weakness and also, I used to think that if I just keep on smiling, things will be okay. Boy, was I wrong. As a consequence of not wanting to touch base with these negative feelings and/or emotions, I became so deep in denial. I was so focused on portraying a happy go lucky outlook, that I lied to myself a lot. I neglected any potential negative thoughts/feelings/emotions because I didn't think they were important and useful for me. Many times I would force myself to think and/or feel positive, even though my inner self was screaming for acknowledgment. I was fixated on being the most positive human being ever existed in the world... Heck... I was fixated on being the most positive human being in the universe. And then, I developed anxiety. The first time I had an anxiety attack, I felt so crippled. I didn't know what to do, what to feel, what to say. I was not prepared for such a thing, Mainly because I kept avoiding any negative feelings I have ever had. I felt like I was a failure by not being able to handle and letting myself became overwhelmed by my anxiety. It was no picnic. It was devastating. To this day, I am convinced that my anxiety was developed because of my inability to accept the fact that I had to process negative feelings and not neglect them. Every time I ignored and didn't process negative feelings and/or emotions, I was actually making it bigger. I once joined a healing workshop and learned something that I found very interesting. The healer refers to the negative flow of feelings and/or emotions that we are feeling as "Emotional Tsunami". She said that as human beings, there is no way that we can avoid this emotional tsunami. There's no use of fighting it. The only way we can do is to feel it. Embrace the feelings and acknowledge that they exist. Sure, we all can say "I'm okay" when things are not okay. It's really easy to do. But by doing so, we are actually practicing toxic positivity. There's no growth in that. No lesson learned. By doing so, we are not equipping ourselves with enough tools should a greater emotional tsunami comes to visit. By acknowledging this emotional tsunami, we are actually taking the first step in fixing what's wrong. What is it that makes us sad, angry, frustrated, scared? Since then, I learned to welcome any unpleasant feelings and/or emotions in my life. I no longer sweep them under the rug and move on with life with a smile on my face while I'm crumbling on the inside. I take the time to analyze any unpleasant feelings and/or emotions that visit and what lesson they are presenting to me at that moment. Tough at first, considering I was not used to that. But now, I can say that I'm getting better at it. With all that said, I am not, in any way, telling you to stop thinking positively. It is, of course, still important to try to think and act positively. I'm all for seeing the brighter side of things and/or silver linings. Besides, no one likes a sourpuss, so don't be one. I am telling you to be honest with yourself. Be honest with what you're feeling. Don't lie because society expects you to be happy and positive all the time. No one is capable of that. Feel the feels and learn something from it. Your feelings and/or emotions are not good or bad, they are like your personal lighthouse that guides you in this tumultuous sea of life. Don't ignore it or try to escape from it. Paying attention and processing your emotions as they come and go may help you in understanding yourself more as well as the people around you.